


It Is You Gives Ear When I Pray

by bertie456 (bertee)



Series: Bones: You're Lovely to Me [13]
Category: Bones (TV)
Genre: Gen, Serious Illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-01
Updated: 2008-09-01
Packaged: 2017-10-27 20:18:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/299662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bertee/pseuds/bertie456





	It Is You Gives Ear When I Pray

Swallowing hard, Temperance slid her slim fingers around the knocker of Booth's door and let it fall.

The bang rang out through the empty corridor like a judge's gavel, leaving a tense silence surrounding her as she wrapped her coat around herself, biting her lip. There was no answer and she checked her watch, wondering how late hospital visiting hours ended. About to give up, she rooted in her handbag for her car keys, resolving to call him later, when she heard the clink of the chain being removed. Wishing she'd never come, she took a deep breath as the door swung open, bringing her face to face with her partner for the first time in two weeks.

When she saw him, she could've sworn it had been two years. His eyes were darker than she'd ever seen them, and the heavy bags under them only added to the exhaustion that filled him from head to toe. He usually stood upright, full of life and confidence, but as he stood in front of her, he slouched against the door, his well-worn jeans brushing the floor behind his bare feet and his upper body clothed in a old tee that had seen better days. His hair was messy, and although she knew it wasn't possible for humans to shrink, he seemed smaller somehow, not the physically imposing man she was used to.

The ghost of a smile played on his lips as he said, with his best attempt at normalcy, "Hey, Bones."

"Hi," she returned awkwardly, watching as his eyes flickered to the hallway behind her to check she was alone.

Apparently reaching a conclusion, he asked with concern, "What are you doing here? Did something happen or-"

Waving her hand, she cut him off, still not sure exactly what reason to give for her presence. "No, everything's fine. I just- Well, Angela said I should come round, since we've not seen you for two weeks and..."

Catching her drift, Booth nodded and moved aside, pushing the door open for her to enter. "Come in."

She hesitated. "Isn't Parker..."

"He's asleep, Bones," he replied, his tone quiet but friendly. "Please, come in."

He turned to walk into the kitchen before she could answer, leaving her with no choice but to follow him inside, shutting the door behind her.

The second she stepped inside, she could almost feel the waves of despair and melancholy hitting her. It hung in the air, thick and suffocating, as she glanced around, noticing the subtle indicators of Booth's current situation.

Children's toys lay scattered on the floor, as though neither father nor son had the energy to pick them up, and days-old newspapers sat in untidy heaps on the coffee table, speckled with dozens of stains from coffee cups. The trash can by the couch was filled with tissues, proof that someone had been crying, and two pairs of sneakers, one adult's and one child's, sat in readiness by the door. Booth's usually spotless kitchen was in disarray, and the smell of greasy takeout burgers hung in the air, indicating that he no longer had the time or the enthusiasm to cook.

Overwhelmed, Brennan moved to the couch to sit down as Booth called from the kitchen, "You want a drink, Bones?"

"I'll have a beer if you've got one," she called back, deciding to follow the social niceties before arriving at the unavoidable topic of conversation.

He emerged from the kitchen a moment later, and handed her a beer before sinking down into his armchair, holding a soda in his own hand. Registering this, she inquired, "Did I take the last one?"

Smiling at her concern, he shook his head. "No, it's fine. I don't know if I'm going to need to drive to the hospital tonight, so I thought I'd stick with the soda just in case." Before she could get a question in, he continued, "So how's everything at the Jeffersonian? Heard you got stuck with Michaels as a liaison."

Brennan smirked slightly at the memory. "Not any more."

"Really?" he asked, his amusement tinged with hurt at being kept out of the loop. "What did you do to him?"

"Zach broke his nose."

Booth raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "Zach? What'd he do, hit him with a bone?"

"A microscope," she replied matter-of-factly and smiled as a genuine grin spread across her partner's face at the thought. "It wasn't like he meant to; he was just moving workstations quickly and Agent Michaels got in the way."

He chuckled. "Please tell me someone bought the kid a beer afterwards."

Brennan's smile widened. "Hodgins offered to buy him stock in Budweiser."

Booth laughed again, leaning back in his chair as he then said, only partly teasingly, "Wow, I'm away for two weeks and Zach turns into the Karate Kid. Does the Earth still orbit the Sun, or has that changed to?"

Despite the light-hearted appearance of the remark, she caught the hidden worry underneath. The smile slipped from her face as she said sincerely, "You're not missing out on anything. As far as we're concerned, you're still our FBI liaison, whether you're on sick leave or not."

Grateful for her reassurance, Booth took a sip of his soda as he corrected ruefully, "I used up all my sick days on Tuesday. Cullen's now given me another two weeks of paid "sympathy leave", but when that runs out, I may have to get someone pregnant so I can take paternity leave."

Offering him a fleeting smirk at the feeble joke, Temperance decided to seize the opportunity, asking bluntly, "How's Rebecca?"

A flash of fear flickered across Booth's face as he flinched at the question. Taking a deep, resigned breath, he sank back into his chair, his dejection almost palpable in the silent apartment. "She's not good, Bones." His voice became quiet as he explained as best he could, "They diagnosed her with hepatorenal syndrome last week. Apparently, she's got Type 1." Brennan nodded in understanding, and he continued, "I don't know what that means exactly, but I do know it's the bad kind. The statistics..." He chuckled bitterly to himself. "God, I've heard so many statistics over the last few days. Anyway, however the doctors spin it, it's not looking good. The mortality rate... Well, they said it was a miracle she'd made it to two weeks."

"Liver transplant?" she inquired softly, knowing that the best chance of survival was through getting a new liver.

Booth shook his head. "She's on the list, but there's been nothing so far." His eyes left Brennan, darting over to Parker's bedroom before dropping to the floor. "Every day, we go in and she looks worse. There's nothing they can do; we just have to wait till a liver comes or wait till she..." He swallowed hard, trying to rid himself of the lump in his throat. "It's a hell of a way to go."

Unsure of what was required of her, she asked with quiet concern, "How's Parker? Is he still at school?"

His attention momentarily drawn from the mother to the child, Booth nodded absently, "We thought it'd help keep his mind off things. It's hard enough that he doesn't get to come home to his mom everyday, without having him spend every waking moment in the hospital. It's not like he understands what's going on anyway."

Brennan raised her eyebrows and he elaborated, "I mean, of course he knows his mom's sick, but for Parker, "sick" means a tummy bug or the flu. All his grandparents are still around, so he's never been introduced to the idea of death before." He cast his eyes heavenward. "I just wish he didn't have to learn by it being his mom."

"He's still got a father," she volunteered. "That's more than some children have."

A melancholy smirk played on his lips as he said bitterly, "And what kind of father am I? Look at this place, Bones. I've not cooked a decent meal for him in days; we always get takeout on the way to and from the hospital. I can only just manage to get him dressed for school before I have to go deal with Rebecca's parents, and the doctors, and Drew..."

"Shouldn't Drew be the one doing all of this?" she asked, logically. "He's Rebecca's boyfriend, so surely the doctors and the parents would be his responsibility?"

Staring at his soda, he shook his head, his voice barely more than a whisper, "The guy's a wreck. He's barely holding it together himself, and if he had to deal with everything, I don't think he'd cope. Obviously Parker's mine to look after, but I know Rebecca's parents pretty well too. They're nice people, but they seem to think that since it's not my child or girlfriend in that hospital bed, I'm going to be the one who can take care of everything."

She looked at him with sympathy. "But that's not fair..."

Booth looked up at her, jolted back to reality by her words. "I thought you'd agree with them. I mean, it's logical, isn't it? Let the guy who seems the least upset deal with the problems?"

Temperance fell silent, knowing that she had no rational reason to support her sympathy. Her partner read this in her face, nodding with tired resignation, "It makes sense, but it doesn't make it any easier." He leaned back, staring up at the ceiling and asking, with a childlike quality to his voice, "How come there isn't a word for what I am?"

"What you are?" she repeated, confused.

"What can I say when I introduce myself to the doctors? What reason can I give for being there? Drew's her boyfriend, Joe and Steph are her parents, Parker's her son, but what am I?" He seemed to ponder this for a moment. "I know I'm her ex, but that doesn't seem right somehow. "Ex" is someone you don't see anymore, someone you don't care about, not someone you share a child with."

She stayed silent, unsure of what to say, and he continued, "Five years, Bones. I was with her for five years. I couldn't even say goodbye after that long; instead we kept meeting up to try to recapture what we had." He sighed. "Is there a technical term for this? Is there some anthropological definition for what I am, or am I just the 'ex'?"

"You're family," Temperance said simply. "You have a child together, and no matter what the circumstances are now, that alone constitutes a family. And from what you told me, you seem to love each other in a non-romantic way, indicative of familial rather than sexual relationship."

Booth seemed to consider this, before nodding slowly, "Yeah, family sounds about right." He gave her a small smile, and Brennan felt a surge of happiness at the apparent success of her reassurance. "Guess I've got something to say when I talk to the kidney doctor tomorrow."

"Nephrologist," she corrected instinctively and he smirked, taking a sip of his soda.

"Bones, I've heard enough clinical talk to last me a lifetime. Just humor me and call him a kidney doc."

Mentally agreeing to the request, she asked with sincerity, "Are you alright to see the doctors? I mean, it's a lot of pressure, especially with something this serious."

The faint glint of tears in his eye reminded her that he already knew how serious it was, but he answered nonetheless, "I'm fine, Bones. Besides, if I don't do it, who else is going to?"

Before she could open her mouth to offer, she was interrupted by a quiet voice from behind her. "Mommy?"

Taken by surprise, both she and Booth turned to see Parker standing in the door of his bedroom, his blanket trailing on the floor and his eyes swollen with tears. Sleepy and upset, he looked over to see that the woman's voice came from someone else, and the tears began to flow faster. "I want my mommy."

Booth was on his feet in seconds, scooping the child into his arms and rocking him gently as he spoke, "She's not here right now, bub, remember? But you need to be a big boy like we agreed and I promise we can go see Mommy before school tomorrow, okay?"

The little boy just burrowed his head further into his dad's chest, his tears falling on his tee shirt as he mumbled again, "I want my mommy."

Rubbing his hand on his back in soothing circles, Booth repeated, sympathetically, "I know you do, Parker. But if you go back to bed, you'll see her in the morning. Do you want to do that?"

From her position by the couch, Brennan saw the child's blond curls bounce as he nodded, still crying. Booth planted a kiss on his head, whispering, "Good boy", before carrying him back into the bedroom. Uncertain whether to follow, she decided against it, knowing her skills with children were even more lacking than her ability to offer appropriate comfort.

Glancing around the apartment, she decided that while emotional support was beyond her, tidying certainly wasn't. Keeping an eye on the bedroom door, she located a large trash bag in one of the kitchen drawers and moved briskly around, placing the burger wrappers, newspapers, and whatever else she could find in the bag. She also emptied out the trash can, figuring that the removal of the evidence of tears would hopefully prevent any more. With that done and still no sign of Booth, she picked up all Parker's toys, stacking them neatly in the toybox in the corner before returning to the couch, wondering if she was supposed to leave now.

Unwilling to abandon her partner when he was clearly so vulnerable, she made her way over to the bedroom, peering in through the small gap where the light fell on the bed. What she saw nearly broke her heart.

Parker lay in bed, tucked under a space-themed duvet, with Booth kneeling beside him, one of his large hands intertwined with his son's two small ones. In the dim light, she could see how hard the child was clutching his father, as though holding on to a lifeline which he never wanted to lose. Booth's other hand rested on Parker's head, stroking his ruffled hair as he sniffled softly. In the silence of the night, Brennan could hear Booth speaking quietly, his tone that of familiar reassurance as he recited the Lord's Prayer to his crying son.

"...Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven..."

The boy's tired voice mixed with his father's as he recited the words he'd heard many times over the last two weeks. His contributions were intermittent but present, as they both took comfort in the well-known prayer, and Temperance heard his sobs subside as he focused his sleepy mind on the words, guided by Booth.

"...As we forgive those that trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation..."

His eyes started to drift shut, his cheeks still stained with slowly drying tears, and his lips stopped moving along with the words. She watched a small smile of relief appear on Booth's face, the few tears on his own cheeks glistening as they fell, and heard him recite the last line, soothing his son off to sleep.

"...For Thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever..."

He paused, and both he and Brennan held their breath for a moment as the sound of Parker's steady breathing filled the small bedroom. Satisfied that he was asleep, Booth carefully slid his hand from his son's grasp, kissing him lightly on the cheek before standing up and moving to the door, swiping away the escaped tears as he saw Brennan standing there.

She didn't move as he approached, overcome with guilt at her inability to comfort her partner. Observing the shared prayer, the common reassurance for both of them, she suddenly felt even more useless than she thought possible.

Still standing in the doorway of Parker's room, Booth dropped his eyes to the floor, a combination of shame and pain etched on his face. Unsure of the rules governing the use of prayer, Temperance ventured the only word she knew that could follow what she'd just witnessed.

"Amen?"

His gaze shifted up to her in surprise, and she wondered if he was about to challenge her, an atheist, for using religious words. He didn't, and relief flooded through her as a genuine smile crossed his face, his eyes filling with immeasurable gratitude as he repeatedly sincerely,

"Amen."


End file.
